Little Debbie Diblits-The Adventure Continues...

This story is about the day Debbie took a dumb in the school court yard. It all started when his classmate Greg dared Diblits to eat 40 hot dogs in one sitting. Debbie never backs down from a challenge. Anyhoo, Debbie gave the best effort he could and ate 27 hot dogs. That is the exact moment Diblits lost control of all his bodily functions. He tried to ask Greg for help, but all that came out of his mouth was mustard. Debbie stood up, put his arms together and started to dance by throwing his legs out into the air singing "HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY". You see, something in his brain snapped. He went right up to Sally Jones and said straight up "You're a fucking asshole Ms. Sally Jones" Thats when the rest of the students heard it, the most god awful sound. The sound of shit. Debbie stumbled out the doors into the court yard. "Help meeeeeeeeeeee". He pinched one single loaf directly on the picnic table and then he called it a day.

Accidental Creations: Eggnog

As a sipped on a mug of delicious eggnog, I began to wonder how the hell humans could create this. This ancient story of how eggnog came to be has been passed down from generations to generations becoming a LEGEND. It all started in 1995. A man named Ted Jenkins was drinking his milk before he ate breakfast. Ted's next actions would be his last...for some fucked up reason, Ted thought it would be a delight to add nutmeg to his scrambled eggs. Ted climbed onto the stove to fetch the nutmeg. All of a sudden, Ted cut the most massive fart in the history of mankind. The gas spread to the open flame cause a violent explosion. Ted was incinerated into a fine powder. However, the ingredients from his breakfast combined neatly into a test tube, thus creating the fantastic beverage known as eggnog. Add a little rum and you got yourself a party.

Brian5or6:The Return

It's official, i'm back on the air! Where have I been for so long? WELL WHERE DO I BEGIN!?! In July, I hitchhiked to Atlanta to try out for the Thrashers. After about 3 months, I finally got there. As soon as I entered, this strange silence fell over me...no one was around. And then I heard the sound of drums, it started getting so loud I SCREAMED. Then what happened next was so sickening it would make the brains come out the back of your skull....Over the horizon, I saw a dark shadow coming towards me. As it got closer I realized it was a pack of wild dogs and they were starving. All I saw was teeth and the sound of death. When I woke up I no longer had a human face. Still, I didn't let those ASSHOLE DOGS.....ruin my dream of playing in the NHL. Heres where the story gets fucked! Turns out I wasn't even in Atlanta. I hadn't even left home yet. The moral of the story is...I'm back. I love you all.