Greeting Card

Hope you get better soon Granny!! I still can't believe you shattered every bone in your hip by falling over the table, probably drunk. Love Brian

Greeting Card

Congrats on 50 years of living. The only thing about getting old that sucks, is that you really start smelling. We still love you though uncle Ron

Greeting Card

If and when you get into a horrific car accident, I will call the ambulance for you, and even talk to you until the paramedics arrive. That is how much I enjoy your company. (Disclaimer: I will puke on the sight of blood, and I will leave)

Top 10 Summer Foods

10. Grill ems: The only part I hate is when it blows up and burns you half to death
9. Straight Gin- When you want to get LICKED
8. Lettuce Heads- Sometimes there is dirt in them so I wash them with soap
7. Gummy Worms- If you don't think so, then i'll fight you
6. Mustard- I once had mustard on my shirt for 4 years, little yellow bastards
5. Snickers- My mom hides these cause I once ate a whole box in one sitting and shit my pants...
4. Oh Henry- So much butter in these bad boys. My brother eats these more then me, he's fat
3. Half Moons- Like I would leave this off the list. Beckers can't keep these in stock. The manager called me an asshole
2. Hot Hamburgs-Slide these into your gut
1. Licorice??? I LIKE CANDY SO WHAT? YOU DONT KNOW ME

Drama Thoughts

What would be a world without RUM? Many angry people would flip over cars with their bare hands cause they loved rum so much. Men would punch each other in the faces, and many cops would be called by concerned on-lookers to break up the fights. People would resort to drinking vodka instead, and Russia would not be able to handle the demand. I don't want to live in such a world. I hope RUM never runs out. Also, Coke would have a shit. PEACE

Debbie's first fight

Diblits woke up already in a bad mood. He even said "Fuck you sister" to his sister. When he got to his hockey game he took Ronalds, his teammate, by the collar and punched his stomach. THIS WAS FOR NO REASON. Fucking Ronalds was pissing blood cause of the blow, and Debbie said "Lets play some fucking hockey". Not one player stepped on the ice in protest of Debbie's actions. Debbie was demoralized. THE END

My thoughts on Hockey

1) Why does my mom turn off the game at 8 pm? Is there still a game on after? Who knows
2) When stick on the puck, why do the player wink at the players? Strange mystery
3) Pot belly? Not hockey players
4) When I was a little man, I played hockey and guess what? I told the coach to FUCK OFF.
5) The record for JoS lOUISE CONSuption is one, cause they suck compared to HALF MOONS